Random Curiosity :: Untold Identities

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Nicole has always done what is expected of her. She meets Bryan, a high school classmate that has dropped out and can't help but want to be with him. He's everything she could never have the courage to be.

Untold Identities

Okay, comment or ask questions about this story here!

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:26 pm Post subject:

I'm really enjoying this story, Paige. I love the characterization of Nicole and Bryan, and you're doing a good job staying true to their personalities, but also expanding them just a little, so they are beginning to become more receptive to each other. Love is on the way! Nice solid writing and a smooth and easy to understand storyline make this an enjoyable read. I love the shot of the two on the motorcyle - very cool. And the shot of her on her bed with the two photoshopped images of her and Bryan - neat effect - helps capture her turmoil about not being able to get him out of her mind. Great job! Oh - by the way - do you remember where you got her hair?

I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Site Admin

I'm pretty sure I got her hair at XM Sims. :]

Thank you for saying all that about my story. I worry constantly on the transition of the characters and whether it's believeable. I guess I really do stick true to what Mark Twain says: "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:21 pm Post subject:

Hey, Paige. I just finished reading Chapter 2 of your story. I am, by no means a scribe like Ari, but I would have to agree with everything she said.
You have a good, solid style of writing. Your main characters are interesting and perfectly believable.
I think most of us have known teens like Brian and Nicole in our lives. Hopefully, Nicole won't compromise who she is TOO MUCH for the sake of a fella. I hope she remembers WHO she is and stays true to herself. (Of course, that's the mother in me talking! Laughing

)

Keep up the terrific work. I look forward to Chapter 3.
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Thank you! I always worry about whether or not my characters are believable. Well, I'm sorry to say that Nicole is going to change drastically, but not because of Bryan. I think it's time for her to grow up, and realize that not everything is how she's always known.

Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:30 am Post subject:

Hey, Paige! I just finished reading Chapter 3 of Untold Identities. It was really great. I think you are still doing an awesome job of keeping Bryan and Nicole in character, but bending them a little, so they can just start to understand each other - but only a little. They still remain who they are. And we can see where Bryan is starting to have a definite impact on Nicole's life - just from the interview with the guidance counselor, but other places, as well.

And that kiss! Sigh! That left me weak in the knees. Beautiful writing. Who knew how erotic one kiss could be? You really slowed that moment down for us and helped us feel the impression it left on Nicole - how important that moment was. Very well done. It looks like you are going to have a flair for writing the romantic aspects of the story, which is great. That is a huge struggle for me.

And then, true to his character, Bryan remains unreachable for a couple of days.

Great chapter - I really enjoyed it. Will you be posting it on Insimenator, as well?

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:29 pm Post subject:

Hey, Paige! I just finished Chapter 4. Great stuff! Nicole is proving that Bryan is definitely having an effect on her. She's becoming more spirited, but at the same time, trying to figure herself out. I'm glad she stood up to her mother, she needed to. Bryan kind of gives me the chills sometimes, lol, but I think that's the whole point. You didn't hold anything back when you made him a 'bad kid'. Great stuff. I'm on to chapter 5 to see what happens next.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:45 pm Post subject:

I just finished chapter five, but I don't want to give anything away - I'll just say that I like the events so far - and I liked the way you ended the chapter. Geez, I don't really feel like I'm saying anything, lol. Great job! Looking forward to the next chapter.

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 9:17 am Post subject:

Hey, Paige. I'm finally caught up with Untold Identities.

I'm enjoying it very much, though I have mixed emotions about the way Paige is handling things.
Obviously, she isn't interested in the kind of life her parents have ... or have mapped out for her.
It's just a shame Nicole has to lie to her mother so much and can not simply tell her what's going on and how she feels.
She's only one month away from 18 and is coming into her own.
She's old enough to make her own choices & hopefully, doesn't regard her mom as the "enemy".

Of course, that's the old over protective, "you'd better tell me the truth" mother in me emerging. I'm just concerned about the direction Miss Nicole is headed in. That must mean I care about her already!

Keep up the good work. I read three chapters in this sitting & remained intrigued the whole time. Wink

When you get your new laptop, will you resume including screenshots with each chapter?
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Free downloads for The Sims 2 - New updates weekly!

Site Admin

Honestly, I don't know about the screenshots. I like to see them, and I know some readers like to see them. Setting them up though is something that just isn't fun for me. To me, it feels like this big chore and holds me back from updating. I might, but no promises.

I see Nicole's mom as the "society type mom." She loves her daughter, but doesn't show it too much. She's more interested in appearances and making sure her family is seen as "superior." Her marriage with Nicole's father isn't a happy one, as I think I stated either in Chapter 5 or Chapter 6. Nicole and her mom are definitely not going to have an easy road in their relationship for the next few chapters.